The family in Penang, Malaysia + a few snakes. Yikes.
Not long ago met someone for the first time who took their family abroad to China back in the early 2000’s. As usual, I was thrilled to realize this connection that I am so often talking about with all of you. Though this was a bit different, meeting the parents rather than their TCK offspring.
I, of course, asked the basics: Where exactly did you live? Oh I’ve been there! And for how long? Where else have you traveled to? Future plans for overseas living? What did you think of _____?
As our conversation progressed, I noticed something a bit off. His attention and enthusiasm didn’t seem to match my own. With TCKs, we love this kind of back and forth. Many times we find that we have mutual friends, or that even our own paths had crossed at some time in some place. But this parent of two TCKs didn’t seem to care. He didn’t ask a single follow up question, he said some rather negative things about an entire race of people and then excused himself from our conversation. Are you kidding me??
I’ve never had this experience before, but it made me realize how different the abroad experience can be for people, and in at least this case, for the parents of TCKs. Had he even heard the term TCK before? Does he realize how important this may be for his children? Does he put off the same negative vibe when they talk about their time overseas together?
But turning this negative into a positive, I came to this conclusion: I had it good with my own family. Both of my parents urged my brother and I to explore the foreign lands we called home and we took trips as a family all over Asia, Europe and the Midwest (heheh). They took us out of school (sorry, Mom) to extend trips around the world. And even better, our international schools encouraged us to do so. Learning went well beyond paper, they claimed. You better believe I got on board with that one.
Not a day goes by that a story from our time overseas doesn’t get brought up in my family. Our world still revolving around those incredible five years spent living in Japan and Singapore, over half of my life ago. I can’t imagine not having something so positive like that in my life and I hope that what was said to me in this recent occurrence isn’t what is spoken around their dinner table at family gatherings. Because looking back on those times with anything less than gratitude would truly be a misfortune.
If you have kids who are growing up overseas, I hope you understand how important that experience will be to them for the rest of their lives. They are changed. They are better for it, so keep an open mind and encourage thought, learning and acceptance of other people and cultures. You didn’t just move abroad for the added income, did you?
*Some details of this story have been changed*
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